Sichuan spice queens and Tibetan goddesses

Numerous people i have met, upon hearing of my age, have told me they think its about time i got married.... Is it really so.... about to hit 25.... surely i have a few more years of freedom up my sleeve. Or should i just submit now and accept the inevitable, making a careful choice while i still have time. And this question naturally brings me to consider, what do i think of these Chinese women???
Apart from those westerners (usually women) who jokingly accuse me of having 'yellow fever', everyday events (like the wedding of my sister!) are leading me to confront this awkward question- So, what kind of women do i like? This dilemma occurs to me in different ways- e.g. - do i like assertive/confident women, shy/submissive women, intelligent or innocent women? Living in Sichuan, a man is naturally forced to consider his attitude towards the local female fare-famously known as 'lameizi' or 'spice girls' and in high demand throughout the country. They are more assertive, stronger-willed and will take the lead in family affairs- even physically discipline their husbands. As such, Sichuanese men, the counterpart of 'lameizi' are known as 'paerduo' or 'soft ears' for their submissiveness. So you can see the diversity that puts some stereotypes of Chinese women to bed. According to Chin-Ning Chiu, an ancient, famous book in China known as black heart goes so far as to equate fear of one's wife with ability to achieve success... Worth thinking about at least! But it could be made up...

However, experience inevitably reveals the futility of such generalizations as bunching women's supposed characteristics into a geographic group. Oh no. Just ask any woman. It's simply not the case! Actually the diversity of feminine characters in Sichuan is roughly the province's population divided by 2...

Anyway, getting back to the point, It is lonely for a young guy like me, up in the mountains, amongst a conservative culture. It's too great a risk for most young women here to consider a relationship with a temporary-resident foreigner. They would be permanently labeled.
For several weeks, hesitant glances through shiny plateau eyelashes was all i managed to receive from local women. Visiting tour guides were more forthcoming...
At one stage, early on, i debated the conservatism of local male-female relationships with a pretty young female colleague at work- who insisted that the locals are not conservative- while i insisted that they are! Later i attended her wedding (seemed like a vindication) :) Perhaps it was partly that i didn't want to become an agent for western-style sexual proclivities...
One pretty local Tibetan lady and colleague whom it turned out (after she arrived outside my apartment drunk one night) was willing to have a relationship, was married already!
A particularly beautiful, and well-traveled local woman who i came to know through a friend was very outspoken when it came to the loss of her native culture. This put her at odds with the style of development sought by the national park hierarchy. While sympathetic, i could only give her some tips toward the guesthouse she plans to open. Her aggressive mentality just seemed a little out of touch with the mainstream sentiment for peaceful development, meanwhile, my relatively pacific attitude to her perceived enemies disappointed her, and limited my romantic appeal. Perhaps her time could come- in case of instability, characters like her would gain more traction.

The problem of prostitution in the park- Chinese men wanting to have a taste of local 'plateau-red' women and being willing to pay a high price for it- is known of but rarely discussed. Tibetan culture does, even from the view of China's mainstream, have a sense of inviolable mystery. So for a Han Chinese- what better way to experience this than to 'experience' a Tibetan woman for yourself? Ironic then that by experiencing it they are in some way destroying it!

A large portion of the Tibetan girls in the Jiuzhaigou area are employed as waitresses and entertainers- serving food, singing, dancing, and ritually drinking wine with tourists. This is even portrayed by authorities as a way of preserving culture by sharing it. But when judgment is clouded by a heady mix of alcohol, lust and cash on offer, the sanctity of a women's physical affections may too often be forgotten. This all too common process of Han-Chinese men forcefully seducing Tibetan women tourist workers with wealth is a potent allegory of the Han-Chinese globally-integrated cash economy coming to 'dominate' traditional Tibetan life right across the plateau. Perhaps that's why it's not often talked-about.

But speculations aside, it has been an interesting journey of discovery of male-female relations in different cultures. Not to mention the relentless pressure of social change and temptations of the cash economy. Personally, I could have had more 'success' with women had i fully overcome my own inhibitions, but some inhibitions are best left undisturbed. They make us who we are.