'Thick Face Black Heart' cultural contrasts

Since being in China it is been dawning on me how fundamentally different the commonly held views of propriety, behaviour and morality are here from what i have learn and adapted to in 24 years of life. I have sensed this difference before, a little uncomfortably, when travelling in China temporarily, but now im settling down here for a while i feel a need to organize my thoughts on the matter to be more clear. So ive started reading books and considering the subject more deeply.
Though Chinese culture is obviously deep, complex and diverse, some of the essential differences seems to me able be summarized in a contrast between such values of good/evil expressed through Christianity vs Taoism. In Christianity (both protestantism and catholicism) the search for goodness and heaven is about a struggle with our inner demons, a battle to overcome and repress the dark side of our own nature as something inherently evil and despicable. Therefore acting more generous, pious and friendly, hiding the negative or even neutral emotions, is socially desirable is western culture. I strongly remember some lessons grandmother taught me- 'if you dont have anything good to say, then dont say anything at all', 'ALWAYS say please and thankyou' she taught.
But China's Taoism- going back to the oracle bones and hexagrams of the Shang and Zhou dynasties 3-4000 years ago- has always been about balance of opposites. Balance of the essential (and indissoluble) forces, both yin & yang, light and dark is the stated goal. Flowing in harmony with the waxing and waning of these opposing energies is seen as the way to success. Ignoring or repressing the naturally occurring negativity is seen as futile, and instead they should be harnessed, utilized for motivation and effectiveness in reaching our goals. They would that the negativity- aggressiveness, jealousy, envy are necessary for the positives to exist and be perceived. Therefore people don't feel such a need to act nice. After overcoming initial dissonance against this, i can't say whether this is good or bad. As the Vietnam War-'maddened' (yet brilliant) colonel in the classic movie said when referring to why the US wasn't winning the war; 'What kills us is Judgment'- this i think gets to a core of east-west cultural contrast - we Westerners have a tendency to want to judge things as good or bad. Asians less so. This may disadvantage us.
Author Ching Ning Chiu summarizes some of these contrasts in her book Thick Face, Black Heart. This is one of the culture-related books i ordered in preparation for an extended stay in China. Ning Chiu is a taiwanese/american who nows interprets asian culture to the west. Does for business culture what bruce lee did for kung fu. She discusses various strategies and motivation techniques- drawing upon the ancient wisdom of confucius, lao tzu and also many hindu scriptures- with quotes at begining of each chapter. The general message is- we need to be able to be deaf to criticism (thick face) and measuredly ruthless (black heart) in order to gain success in life, even if our goals are noble.
Some of her quips i am instinctively opposed to - such as the flat statement that a state must have a strong military in order to have peace. I see a vicious-cycle of suspicion (arms race) developing here instead....
Anyway there is alot of insightful advice given, and it strips away at some of the false appearances of 'niceness' that we make in conformity with convention, while opening paths of behavioural strategies for those with deeper noble intentions who dont wish to be constricted by conventional christian morality.
The book title is based on a treatise written in 19th century by an obscure official in southern China named Lee Zhong Wu. This book describes the methods by which men obtain and how they hold onto power: how and to what lengths they use their power and wealth to accumulate more power and wealth. Apparently It was an all too truthful description of the prevailing political culture in China. Some of it reinforces comments i made earlier about the hierarchy of officialdom here in the park administration.
The observations describe 'Six ways to Obtain an Official Position'- including flattery, bribery, threats and single-mindedness. 'Six ways to keep an official position' include bowing and scraping before your superiors (especially ensure that the 2nd wives of superiors like you!); being imperious- haughty and disdainful, unapproachable; being ruthless (while maintaining a virtuous image); and being stubborn, self-centered and self-interested. He also mentions the importance of avoiding accountability for your actions and making your actions seem much more important than they really are.
Other notes include 'the twos types of foreign policy- the thug and the prostitute'- e.g. professing undying love to all parties, while also brutally beating victims into submission with whatever weapons are available.
He also interesting claimed: 'A husbands fear of his wife is as natural as the heavens and the earth. It is the Universal Truth', and said that a man rises in the world exactly to the same degree that he fears his wife- by conducting his life properly in order to please her.

I also read Ching-ning Chiu's book 'Do Less, Achieve More', to help prepare to come to China. It presented many psychological concepts of work and effort in an original way, to show how we are probably trying to hard. Just let things happen naturally and take what you want, she seems to imply. Worth a read.
On another note entirely, last night we had the first snowfalls of the winter outside my apartment (1st precipation for more than a month). Nice to wake up to a white carpet.....
And now im planning some post xmas travels around various parts of china. Feel like im in 'trainspotting' the way im reading train schedules for hours... Theres lots of trains in China and i expect to do a 3000km loop to Xi'an, Kaifeng, Luoyang, Changsha, Guiyang, Chongqing, and back to Chengdu... should be fun! Next time i'll share some stories of these adventures....
Very Merry Christmas to all folks
and Happy New Year (may our resolutions succeed!)
much love from
Callum